Because of Covid, I spent nearly every Sunday evening with her and her family on Zoom. These were bittersweet visits, especially after her youngest daughter, Liz, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Together we traversed Liz’s fight, witnessed her courage, and ultimately her surrender to the hideous disease. During this period, however, I got to spend time with Mother Hamlin, which never would have happened if not for Covid. I saw her own amazing strength as she faced her daughter’s inevitable end.
And now I, along with her family, grieve her passing at age 87. Much of the blame falls squarely on Covid for this as well. It kept her isolated for nearly two years, avoiding doctor visits, only venturing out for vaccinations. What should have been minor ailments for a woman her age, bloomed to the point that hospitalization was ultimately the only recourse. This was followed by a stint in rehab where Covid ran rampant not long after her arrival.
Although sent there for physical therapy, the virus quickly took its toll. Eventually, despite her weakening condition, the facility sent her home since insurance would no longer cover her stay if she wasn’t participating in PT. Sadly, getting a doctor to see her and redesignate her condition proved impossible.
Despite 24-hour home care, her condition worsened. When her breathing became labored, an ambulance was summoned, but it was clear she had little time left. Her son, Bob, convinced the EMTs not to take her to the hospital. Before she expired, he was able to hold her hand in the ambulance, in her driveway and tell her that her wish to die at home had been realized. Her daughter-in-law, Linda, then sat sentry over her in the living room of her beloved home until the funeral transport arrived.
This is just one tragic story, out of millions, during this time of Covid. The healthcare system, clearly overburdened, has resulted in many dying needlessly. With every loss, our own lives are irrevocably altered.
Beyond clinging to memories, I try to find solace or at least perspective. Neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris offers this:
“The process of dying, whatever it is, will be a finite experience. Which is to say that however painful it might be, there will come a time when it ceases to be painful. Even if one suffers a long illness and a blizzard of medical interventions, there will be a moment when all of that ends.”
In the heaven she has long believed in, Mother Hamlin, Ann, is at peace.
