Lesson 4: Adverbs and Passive Voice Spoil A Good Story

“Adverbs, like the passive voice, seem to have been created with the timid writer in mind.”  Stephen King

In my training years ago as a publicist for General Electric, my manager taught me how to write tight press releases. People have a short attention span, he’d say, especially editors who get thousands of press releases a day that they need to sort through to find the real news. While a press release is a different form of writing than a novel, readers still want you to get to the point of your story – clearly and without, as Mr. King says, “using a lot of tiresome, unnecessary adverbs.”

I’m looking over some of the sentences in the book I’m writing and removing adverbs, especially those that emphasize or amplify a point, for example: At first he had been very charming. He made her feel incredibly desirable. I deleted “very” and “incredibly.” They are unnecessary modifiers. A book overflowing with adverbs can be tedious to get through. Still, it’s hard to let some words go and they’ll creep into the work of the best authors.

The same holds for the passive voice. Again, to quote King in On Writing: “Two pages of passive voice – just about any business document ever written, in other words, not to mention reams of bad fiction – make me want to scream. It’s weak, it’s circuitous, and it’s frequently tortuous, as well.”

Yes, there are occasions when the passive voice makes sense and may be unavoidable, as in business or legal documents. For example: Our position was made clear in the original proposal.  Still, the author of this memo could have written: We made our position clear in the original proposal.  It’s a bolder approach so perhaps not good if the document is contributing to a negotiation.

In fiction, forceful action verbs paint a clear picture of what’s happening. Active verbs show a character doing something. Passive verbs show something being done to a character:

Active: He moved back around to his side of the desk and brushed her lightly as he passed.
Passive: She was brushed lightly by him as he moved back around to his side of the desk.

Active: Three months after becoming CEO, Karl Ernst fired Jim Pandera.
Passive: Jim Pandera was fired by Karl Ernst three months after he became CEO.

Put these two points to work to improve prose.

Lesson 3: 1000 Words a Day

“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”  Stephen King

“Write a lot” is the advice of many, if not all, popular writers. Aaron Sorkin is among them in an interview in this month’s The Writer magazine. In On Writing Stephen King asks, “How much writing constitutes a lot?” Ten pages, or 2000 words a day, are his target. That seems manageable for prolific writers like King, Grisham, or any of the others we have come to count on for brilliant story-telling.

For the rest of us, new to the fiction-writing craft, he suggests 1000 words a day to avoid discouragement, and one day off a week, at least to start. 

Since I began my novel, I’ve managed to put 4500 words on paper, or my computer anyway. I think I’m doing pretty well, but then go to the library and start reading some of Stephen King’s novels off the shelf. Oh man – what an imagination! I get discouraged.

But then Stephen tells me, in his book: “Good writing is often about letting go of fear and affectation. Affectation itself, beginning with the need to define some sorts of writing as ‘good’ and other sorts as ‘bad’ is fearful behavior.”

His advice to “read a lot” is much easier behavior, although that can be off-putting as well. Currently I’m reading Ken Follett’s Century Trilogy. I’ve finished Fall of Giants, and am in the midst of World War II in the second book, Winter of the World. No doubt Mr. Follett and his editors are busy polishing up the third entry about the Cold War in Edge of Eternity, due out in 2014. These are enormous tomes with characters and narrative bringing history to life. I’m learning more in this ambitious epic than I ever did in school – about the historical events it depicts and about brilliant narration and dialogue.

So now my door is closed and I’ve shut out the world – or so I’ve tried. Max and Rusty, my cats, don’t cotton to closed doors. They’re scratching and meowing to get in. Okay, okay, I open it a crack for them to enter. Then Tim, not a cat, sees this as an opportunity to come in and talk about frustrations at work. This closed-door thing isn’t working out too well. But soon he will leave and the kitties will sleep for the remainder of the day. No more excuses.

I press on. I have a story to tell and I’m going to tell it fearlessly in my own style. Counting this blog entry as part of my 1000 words would be cheating. Today’s work is cut out for me and it’s time to begin.

Lesson 2: The Truth Will Out

"The job of fiction is to find the truth inside the story’s web of lies.”  Stephen King

As I close the door to my writing room and sit at the desk in the corner, I have an idea brewing in my head about a story I can tell. The idea solidifies following a conversation with a former colleague about a bizarre situation in a company where we both once worked.

I reread a section of Stephen King’s book where he talks about what to write when you sit down and close the door:

“Write what you like, then imbue it with life and make it unique by blending in your own personal knowledge of life, friendship, relationships, sex and work. Especially work. People love to read about work. God knows why, but they do.”

In my case, work has involved writing for and about technology companies, their products and marketing them to prospective customers. What I have enjoyed reading is mysteries and biographies. Sometimes the two intersect.

My idea is to combine personalities I have met in the workplace with a story that reflects events and activities that I have observed -- some disturbing, several unethical and a few illegal. So taking Mr. King’s advice quite literally, I’ve decided to pursue a story that plays off some of these workplace incidents. Adding a healthy dose of imagination, I will take them to new heights, discourse and possibilities. As Mark Twain said, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

While most of the story will be fictitious, it will be an honest depiction of actual events.

The working title for my book is CEO.

Writing Lessons from Stephen King

"Put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn't in the middle of the room. Life isn't a support-system for art. It's the other way around."   Stephen King

I’m sitting in a corner of a room I now call my writing room, at the antique mahogany ball and claw foot secretary desk I refinished some 30 years ago with my Aunt Helen. I’m reading A Postscript which wraps up Stephen King’s nonfiction book called On Writing – A Memoir of the Craft. Here he details the accident that nearly killed him in June 1999. He had been in the middle of writing this book when a van hit him on a highway in Maine during one of his walks. Right now I’m thanking whoever there is to thank, mostly Stephen, for not dying and for finishing this book. It has been a pleasure to read and an inspiration. I’m about to finish the last few pages. I’ve already started to reread this book by listening to a CD where the author is reading it.

I want to be a writer – a real writer; a fiction writer perhaps. I’ve been a business and technology writer most of my professional life. Writing about robots for the factory, small electric motors, office furniture, semiconductors and software. Now it’s time to really write – from my heart. Write about things I’ve seen and learned during my life.

Following Mr. King’s guidance, I will try to tell some good stories by writing interesting narration and dialogue. I will monitor my progress in this blog, since that’s also what some writers do these days. I will attempt to write a novel at the same time. I hope it’s worth reading. I will share it with my “Ideal Reader” at a minimum. Maybe one day Stephen King will read it and get some satisfaction from knowing that he helped to create at least one better writer.